As one can imagine, the Trump-as-President-Elect shock still hasn’t worn off, and folks are looking for any loophole possible in an effort to make sure this clown doesn’t lead our first world nation into the depths of hell. One such thing I’ve seen going around is calling upon the electors at the Electoral College “vote their conscience” and not elect Trump, instead going with Hillary. Huff post has an article about it here. I have a huge problem with this, and I typed a diatribe in response to my buddy’s support of this. From my Facebook reply:

Do you see the irony in this? You know I think he’s a monster, but he won based on the rules. Clinton became the pick by cheating Bernie Sanders out of it with well-placed people and called in favors.

So she basically cheated and lost, and he won by the rules in place. Now people are petitioning to give the Presidency to the person who DIDN’T play by the rules? That’s jacked.

Now, if the Electoral College gave it to someone worthy (Sanders, Johnson, Green even though I hate her VP pick), I’m enough of a hypocrite to be down for that.

But as much as I hate Trump, this will be a big mound of bullshit if it’s given to someone who tried to rig the system from the beginning. And TBH, it will make things worse. This very well could lead to a civil war. The hillbilly militia men are praying for this, AND I DON’T OWN A GUN, JEFE.

And if you think Congress didn’t work with Obama, you just wait and see if they’ll work with Clinton.

To be clear, I don’t know what the solution is, but as much as you (we, everyone) hate Trump, he won. That’s a bitter fucking pill to swallow and I wish it was any other way, but to take his fairly won victory (again, by THE RULES IN PLACE) and give it to someone who fucking cheated from the start is bullhockey, I say. This is the exact opposite of our so-called democracy, whether you like it or not. The DNC made its bed, and now we have to lie in that shit and mud.

Although I do agree with the sentiment behind it, and hopefully this electoral college bullshit nonsense will go away once and for all.

The more I think about this article, the more pissed off I get. YES! It would be wonderful if Trump didn’t get to be the leader of the free world, but you know what? We have to eat it now, and we deserve every shit sandwich shoved in our fat mouths. All these people complaining about the Electoral College now? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN BUSH AND DIDN’T GET THE POPULAR VOTE? This is what I fucking hate about Democrats, you’re a bunch of pussies (and this is from someone who’s only registered in two parties since I first registered to vote: democrat and independent). The opening to the amazing HBO show, The Newsroom, is one of the best in the history of the openings. Because it’s so spot on:

“You know why people don’t like liberals? Because they lose.”

And we lost big time this time around. Because of the goddamn DNC and liberals.

Thing is? I expect zero change. You’re going to see people cry, piss and moan on Facebook and Twitter for the next few weeks, then you’ll see them do the same for a few weeks after January 1st, then they’ll go back to sucking off whatever Democrat the DNC puts in front of them because they cannot fucking grasp that it was the DNC’s fault we were put in this position. Christ.

I really am surprised that people are surprised. It was inevitable.

 

 

 

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Like the rest of America and the world last night, I watched in awe as Trump took his train all the way across the country, demolishing Clinton in the electoral vote. And while neither Trump nor Clinton were my pick, I have to admit shock and surprise as he figuratively destroyed her. Nobody expected this. I don’t think even Trump expected such an ass-handing victory for his presidency.  (Although Clinton may take some solace in that she got the popular vote.)

What is no surprise, however, is the social media fallout. Many posts of tears and anger are populating my Twitter and Facebook feeds today, and that is to be expected. There are a lot of disappointed folks out there. As well as ones that are proclaiming to be ashamed to be an American.

Here’s what I don’t get, however; why the shock?

The same people I see screaming about how unjust the world is are the ones, when Bernie Sanders was running, screaming how corrupt Hillary is. And now, just because they threw support behind her as political lemmings do she’s not a corrupt asshole working for Wall Street?

Please.

Trump is a dick. For sure. This is something anyone with a brain stem can agree about. He’s a misogynistic, racist, xenophobic, bullying asshole. There are easily more words I can put on him if I thought about it.

Clinton is a dick. Liar, cheater, war monger, possible murderer (I don’t believe all of those 117 — or whatever that ridiculous number is – are her doing, but I’m thinking there are some in there), and not-giving-a-fuck-about-anyone-but-her-rich-friends asshole. And, like, Trump, there are easily more words I can put on her if I thought about it.

One thing I’m seeing a lot of is how America choose Trump because America hates women. Have you people been asleep? People HATE her. Not because she has a vagina, but because she’s a piece of shit. Nothing has changed since Bernie dropped out of the race. I promise you, if Elizabeth Warren, or any other competent female who wasn’t a conniving, lying piece of shit, ran against Trump, they would have won.

  1. The majority of Americans didn’t vote for Trump. The majority voted for Clinton. But because we insist on using a fucked up and retarded plan since the 1800s, majority vote doesn’t mean shit.
  2. The majority of Trump voters aren’t racist xenophobes like he is. They just hate Clinton more. I know people who voted for Obama that voted for Trump.

The bottom line is, America had two pieces of shit at the forefront running for President, and the majority of Americans in key states decided they would rather have a piece of shit who hates anyone who isn’t white rather than a piece of shit who was likely going to get us in a war with Russia. There’s nothing more to it than they both suck.

The irony of all of this? There were two great people running third party: Gary Johnson (Libertarian) and Jill Stein (Green). But since this country is filled with pussies who would much rather pick a piece of shit than a qualified candidate, neither of those two had a chance.

I slept well last night. I’m not a lemming. I don’t vote for “the lesser of two evils”, instead using my choice to vote for “the best qualified candidate.”

Oh, and if you’re looking to blame someone for Trump, guys, blame the DNC. This rests squarely on its shoulders.

 

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This past Tuesday, three Blu-rays came out that I had to have; fortunately their MSRP was set at a very reasonable price. So reasonable, in fact, that FYE of all places had them going for $9.99 a piece…cheaper than Amazon, even!

Word on the interwebs was that FYE busted street date on at least on of these films, so on Sunday I drove to the closest one to see what’s what. While they didn’t have the the one I had read about (I’ll get to it, dammit!), they did have another of the three: Cat’s Eye. I immediately purchased it, along with Twilight Zone: The Movie (which was a goddamn STEAL at $5. This damn thing is going for $40 for some ungodly reason.).

I wasn’t upset I struck out on the other two, it was Sunday after all.

On Tuesday night, I headed back to FYE after work to get the remaining Blu-rays. Unfortunately, they only had one, Stephen King’s IT. They had already sold out of the copy of Salem’s Lot. The. Copy. Let’s see, a classic TV mini-series based on a Stephen King novel hits Blu-ray for the first time a month before Hallofuckingween, and you get…one copy. WAY TO PLAN AHEAD, JERKS.

That’s okay, I didn’t sweat it too much. There are other FYEs around. I would hit them up this weekend, and that’s what I did today. The first one I went to, the employee was pretty damn helpful, checking the back and a few different places on the floor because he knew it had come in, but they must have sold it. Jesus, another store that only had one copy. Okay…fine. I had one more shot. I drove up to the final FYE near me. I looked around the store, couldn’t find it, asked the employee, to which he said, “Oh, sorry, I sold my only copy yesterday.” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? ONE COPY? Goddammit.

As I was heading out, a stack of CDs caught my eye, with the sign shouting $10 and under!!! Normally I would have kept going because who even buys CDs still, but one caught my eye: Def Leppard’s Hysteria. For $5. Since Spotify doesn’t stream Def Leppard and Hysteria is one of my top three albums of all time, I went ahead and bought it. One, to keep in my car, because I can listen to that ANY TIME, and also to not make the entire trip a bust.

Honestly, though, I don’t understand how FYE stays in business at this point. Their prices are either rape high or losing-a-profit low, with no in between. Plus the way they organize their movies is dog shit. It’s all very haphazard. The employees are friendly, though. At least the three I went to, they seemed genuinely eager to help. But the crap selection and sky high prices are unforgivable.

I also went to Best Buy and Barnes & Noble today. That rant is coming tomorrow. Or rather today since it’s 1:30 in the morning.

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I’m not the type to believe in ghosts. I mean, I do believe in ghosts, but I think that 99.99% of sightings or whatever can be explained away scientifically. It’s that .01% that makes you go hmmmmm. Like that time I was traversing near a graveyard.

Many moons ago, like at least 20 years, I was dating this girl who had a friend that lived near an old ass cemetery. Apparently, this was one of those family-type deals, so it wasn’t very big, but it had graves going back to the Civil War. Rumor had it, there were some slaves buried on that land too, but unmarked of course.

So, naturally, me, my lady-at-the-time, her friend and her friend’s boyfriend decided to go check out this graveyard in the middle of the night. Because that’s what you do. Of course we only brought one flashlight (because that’s what you do) and soon after arriving at the cemetery, I gave that up to my girlfriend. Off her and her friend went, exploring and reading the headstones, while Chris (I don’t know if that was his name, but for simplicity’s sake, it is now) and I hung back and chatted and smoked.

Eventually we realized we no longer heard the girls, so we walked out onto the street and saw that they were about 1/2 mile off, already heading home. We shook our heads and started after them.

Now, before I get into this next part, I want to elaborate on two things. First, we weren’t…scared I guess. The thought of any ghosts or anything like that never crossed our mind. We had spent most of the time bullshitting about movies and such, so we weren’t even creeped out about anything. Second, it’s important to describe the layout. Basically, you had woods, cemetery, small strip of woods, then the road that runs parallel. Below is a half-ass diagram of the layout.


MAIN HIGHWAY


LOTS OF WOODS BUT NOT ENOUGH SO YOU CAN’T HERE THE MAIN HIGHWAY


CEMETERY

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________    ENTRANCE         _________

SMALL STRIP OF WOODS (MAYBE 10′) BETWEEN ROAD AND CEMETERY

______________________________________________________________________________________________________   ENTRANCE         _________

LITTLE RESIDENTIAL ROAD MY GF’S FRIEND LIVED ON

<— we were headed thataway

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So Chris and I exited where that entrance is. So we had maybe 1/4 of a mile or so to walk until we were passed the cemetery. That strip of woods between the residential road and the cemetery might have been about 10 feet wide, but it wasn’t dense, you could kind of see the graveyard from the road through those “woods”, even at night. But, again, we weren’t scared, freaked out, or creeped out. We were just heading back to the house like it was normal.

Almost immediately after we got on the residential road and started walking back to the house, I heard the crunch, crunch, crunch of someone or something (don don donnnnnnnnnnn) pacing us in that strip of woods on our right. I stopped, and Chris stopped with me. “You hear that too?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

We both peered into the woods, but saw nothing. Just the graveyard through the brush.

We started walking again.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

We stopped again. Looked at each other, looked at the woods. Saw nothing. Not even an animal.

Walk. Walk. Walk.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

Stop. Look. Nothing.

By about the third time we stopped, I’m not even going to lie, I was nervous. I’m the first to admit, it could have been an animal. But we couldn’t see anythign. It definitely wasn’t our girlfriends. We could see them at the end of the street where the light was (NATURALLY). And if it was a person, we definitely would have seen them. The woods weren’t dense.

Walk. Walk. Walk.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

This time we stopped and didn’t look in the woods. We looked at each other and knew what we had to do. RUN!

We ran, the thing (or whatver) crunching along at the same pace as us, stopping when it reached the end of the cemetery line.

We got back to the girls, out of breath and shakey. They asked why we ran, and again we looked at each other. “No reason,” I said. “Just wanted to catch up with you guys,” Chris offered. The girls looked at us weird but left it at that.

Chris and I never talked about it, and I lost track of him after my girlfriend and I broke up.

I don’t know what was pacing us in the woods that night. I know it wasn’t the wind because there wasn’t any. I’m confident it wasn’t a (live) person because we would have definitely seen them, even withot the flashlight. If it were a (small) animal, maybe I’d buy it. But if it were something else…I don’t know. I’d probably believe it. No matter what, though, it was creepy as hell.

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I’m really, really trying to do at least one update a month, and clearly I’m really, really failing. What’s even worse is I’m currently on vacation, so it’s not like I don’t have time right now.

Anywho, if it wasn’t obvious or if I never mentioned it, I love to read. I have more books than I know what to do with (and I’m actually in the process of giving (literal) boxes of them to friends of ones that I just know I won’t go back to, or I have it in the eBook format. Like stuff you’d find on the NY Times bestselling list; Harry Potter, John Grisham, just shit I don’t need on my bookshelves. I really just want harder-to-find books there (like first editions and ’70s and ’80s movie novelizations; my latest drug). Or novels I will no doubt re-read (like King).

My Kindle has made this possible more than anything else. I know that a lot of readers shit on the Kindle, saying things like, “A Kindle doesn’t have the feel of a real book!” and “You can’t smell the pages of a Kindle!” Well, I call bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I would love more than to own a gigantic house where I would have a gigantic library, but I live in reality and you there is no good reason why I would need a physical copy John Grisham’s The Firm taking up valuable shelf space when I can have a Limited Edition of Joe Lansdale in its place.

One thing that’s been invaluable in building my eBook collection is Calibre, a free piece of software that is not just an amazing tool to organize your collection, but does a slew of other things, including grabbing and modifying metadata, covers, putting your titles in collections (like Jack Reacher #1, Jack Reacher #2, etc.) and much, much, MUCH more. In addition, you can connect to Calibre wirelessly as long as you have it running, and you can transfer books on the fly.

It gets even better. I have this app on my phone that gives me Google Play Store credit for answering little surveys (generally no more than five questions). Granted, it’s not a lot of money, usually between $0.12 and $0.26, but that really adds up. I was sitting on just over $30 in credit today when an email came through offering me $5 off any book purchase in the Play Store. After some Google searching and program downloading, I head to the Play Store and grabbed Paul Tremblay’s Disappearance at Devil’s Rock for basically free.

Now, because everyone has to be fighting, and everyone has to have their proprietary bullshit, you can’t just buy a book from Google and put it on your Kindle. However, if you do the following, you can very easily convert your purchase to read on your Kindle:

  1. Get the DeDRM tools from here, and follow the instructions on adding the plugin to Calibre
  2. Install Adobe Digital Editions and open the book you purchased and it will convert it to epub.
  3. Go back to Calibre and you’ll now be able to convert that epub to a version you can read on your Kindle.

I’m oversimplifying a bit (it took me a little trial and error, but I got it going), but once you got it down, it opens up some more possibilities when it comes to finding deals on eBooks.

Oh, and I recently started using my library card to “check out” eBooks too. I know, right!?! That’s how I read the latest Reacher novel.

I shit you not, sometimes I feel like Henry Bemis in Time Enough at Last.

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