The stupid names for marijuana strains aren’t helping.

Unless you’ve been living in a cave with no access to the outside world, you’d know that many states are debating the legalization of marijuana. Some states, like the one I live in, have legalized it for medicinal use only, while others, like Colorado, have legalized it all out for recreational use. It’s all so stupid. There is really no reason, outside of old wive’s tales and prisons for profit, that it should be illegal at all. But any reasonable person already knows this, and I’m not here to talk about that. I want to talk about something else: the stupid strain names.

The strain names are a problem, and I’d bet hurting marijuana’s legalization on a federal level. Of course a knee jerk reaction would be, “That’s stupid. Who cares what the names are? It shouldn’t matter.” That’s the equivalent of saying the person who has ink all over their face should have no problem getting a job because it shouldn’t matter. Well, guess what? It does. It’s about perception, whether you like it or not, and when you are trying to fight to get something legalized on just a medicinal level, it doesn’t help your fucking case when you say, “But G Spot is great for neck pain!”

Do you really expect those you are fighting against to take you seriously?

Here are a sampling of names from the strains from over at Leafly (which is a phenomenal source of information on marijuana, I highly recommend them):

  • Jack the Ripper
  • AK-47
  • Chemdawg
  • Death Star
  • Great White Shark
  • Fucking Incredible
  • Matanuska Thunder Fuck
  • Alien Dawg
  • …and on and on

Look, I’m not going to deny it, if I were in my 20s, these would be fun names. But how seriously do you expect that legislator that is against legalization going to take you when you say “Matanuska Thunder Fuck” has great medicinal properties. Hey, I bet it does, but good luck having anyone against the fight take you seriously (and I don’t blame them).

Or, what about the 60-year-old patient who needs it for glaucoma or cancer or whatever. Do you honestly believe they want to go into a dispensary and order an 1/8th of “Fucking Incredible” or “G Spot”? I don’t think my dad would do that, and he’s pro-weed. Or, like my sister said, no 70-year-old wants to talk about death, so they probably aren’t running to get some “Death Star” in their system.

I know I look like an old man shaking my fist at the sky and yelling at the kids to get off the lawn. I know this. But I’m right. It’s not helping. I desperately want marijuana legalized on a federal level so the prices can come the fuck down and I don’t have to drive all over town looking for the best bargains. Until that happens, for fuck’s sake, if a new strain comes along, think of the bigger picture before naming it something that looks like it came out of a teenager’s mouth.

And, man, do I want to punch the fucker in the throat who came up with “Budtender”.

All  that ranting, but I still like this song.

Crap year, but not really.

This year, well at least since the end of February or so, has kind of been crappy. February saw some cocksucker run me off the road, totaling my most favorite vehicle I’ve owned to date. Fortunately, I got far more in the settlement than I expected, affording me to get a brand new 2018 model of the vehicle that was totaled (with even more bells and whistles at the same payment), but being so close to a paid-off car still stings, especially when I had legit plans for that extra money

Following that, a tree fell into my shed. This was not really a surprise, and insurance gave me a nice settlement, but I’m still not looking forward to the cleaning out and disposal of the shed. That’s going to be a pain in my ass. I’m seriously considering just hiring someone to take it all away except for the mower.

Then my garbage disposal died on me. One day it worked, the other day nothing. Since there was no sound at all coming from it, I figured that button on the bottom had popped, but sadly no. However, my dad was coming up soon to go on a trip to see our family, and I asked him if he could check the switch. He said sure, he’d do it when we came back. Well…

After spending the weekend with my family, we came back home lucky to have missed some major thunderstorms that had come through the area over the weekend. It started pouring when I pulled in my driveway, but that was cool, my dad was going to look at that switch, so that would give the storm time to blow through. 

While my dad was looking at the switch, I went upstairs to go to the bathroom. When I reached the top, something caught my eye. That light cover sure looks weird. Why is it shadowed on the bottom like that…and what is that spot on the ceiling next to it? Naturally, being a 7-year-old, I put my finger on that spot already knowing what would happen, and sure enough, water started running from the new hole I created. And that shadow in the light cover? Water. Turns out, my roof was leaking.

I went downstairs and explained the situation to my dad. He had more bad news: not only was my garbage disposal switch working properly, my electric in that wall was all jacked up. Something about a wire that wasn’t supposed to be hot always-on hot. Dad was very concerned about this, and I needed to get an electrician out as soon as possible. So I hit the breakers that controlled that wall (fortunately, it just controlled that wall and where the microwave was plugged in; the majority of my outlets in the kitchen worked otherwise). Joy.

I made a call to my insurance company for the roof, got a phone number of a contractor my sister used and left him a message, and figured I’d wait before calling an electrician to see what kind of money I was looking at for the leak.

Things took a delightful turn the next day, however, when my dad called me and said he was mistaken about the wire. It was, in fact, acting as it should and he was on his way up with some switches. I told him I’d buy them, but he said no, he would, because I’d probably get the wrong ones. I scoffed, but it turns out he was right, I might have. Who knew light switches were sold in different amps? I sure as hell didn’t.

Anyway, he was done within 10 or so minutes after he arrived and when he flicked the new switch on, BOOM! The garbage disposal kicked on for the first time in about a month. 

The roof? That’s another story which I fully intend on writing.

At the end of the day, though, while I say it’s been crappy, everything has been working out (even the roof). So I don’t think crappy is the right word. Inconvenienced is probably better. I’ve been inconvenienced by annoyances since February. Yeah, these are first world problems, sure, and I don’t even compare my year to the one my friend has been saddled with (quite possibly my only reader at this point), but sometimes you just need to vent.

Just give me what I asked for and shut the fuck up.

Not so recently, the state I live in legalized marijuana for medicinal use. However, it was only relatively recently that the law has finally taken affect and people can now start getting their cards. Including me.

Since my state consists of a bunch of cocksuckers, the list you can be approved for marijuana is shockingly small comparatively, but one of the things that is pre-approved is glaucoma, which I have. So, at my last visit with my ophthalmologist (a really amazing guy), he was gushing on how much my pressure has gone down. Originally I had been taking an eye drop once per day, but he changed the prescription because that really wasn’t cutting it, and I started taking a different eye drop (which cost $65 for like a fucking ounce — that’s WITH insurance) twice a day; or, rather, was supposed to. I do take it once a day (in the mornings) religiously, but I don’t really want to take my contacts out to do the second dose in the evening because…well because it’s an inconvenience. However, to sleep at night, I may or may not use a product God put on this earth for me and you. All of this I told the doc, to which he replied, “Whatever you’re doing, keep at it. This is really great.” For the record, the pressure in my right eye was a 26 before I started treatment. At last check, it’s a 16. That’s insane (normal eye pressure is 12-22; 12-22 what, I’m not sure).

After my exam, I went to pay my bill and the employee taking my card notified me that their printer wasn’t working so they’d have to mail me my receipt. I told her that was fine, and I would like my medical history mailed to me as well.

“Why?” she asked. This didn’t bother me. Normally I take this as they fear you may be leaving and perhaps they can fix what may be wrong.

“Because I’m applying for my medical marijuana card, and I need to show that I have glaucoma in order to get it.” Boom! Question asked and answered. Nothing more to say. But no, the bitch had to get judgy.

“The doctor would rather you use traditional treatments for the glaucoma. He won’t sign off on this.”

See, there are numerous things wrong with this dumb ass statement. First, she had no idea what transpired between the doctor and me. She wasn’t in the room. Second, it’s not his decision on whether or not I get it. Another doctor makes that decision. What my doctor thinks or feels is irrelevant. Don’t get me wrong, while that might look like I have a problem with my ophthalmologist, I don’t. He really is amazing, and I wouldn’t go see anyone else unless I was forced to. He’s done a tremendous amount to make sure I will have vision until my 80s. Hes a great guy. It’s this dumb cashier who has no fucking clue on anything that annoyed me.

I did a silent 10 count in my head. The way this office is set up is the other patients are RIGHT THERE next to the cashier, so I wasn’t going to make a scene. So I simply said, “I will need a copy of my medical files mailed to me with the receipt, please.”

“But…”

“Do I need to pay for them? I understand if I do.”

“No, but…”

“Okay, thanks. Just go ahead an mail them.”

She gave me some stink eye, but she can go fuck herself. The more I think about this, the more it annoys me because she obviously has an issue with marijuana, medicinal or not, and it no doubt stems from the old wives’ tales that people are still clinging too without doing any research. And that is infuriating since it’s because of people like her why it’s so fucking hard (and expensive) to get the necessary treatment I need for not just my glaucoma but also my anxiety and insomnia. And I’m not even that bad off.

Yes, marijuana also feels good when you do it. I don’t deny that. But so does wine. So does beer. But last time I checked, alcohol doesn’t help with your anxiety, glaucoma, PTSD, insomnia or a host of other issues.

I have a friend that lives in Oregon, where it’s legal for recreational use. He’s been sharing prices lately for grams. He literally…LITERALLY paid $40 for a gram of brand that goes for ~$340 here. JFC. I blame the feds. Fucking idiots.

Ugh.

Apple users really are the worst.

There’s an old joke that goes, “An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar…I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.”

It’s high time they swap “atheist” for “apple owner” because good fucking Lord, those are far worse than atheists. Mainly because the majority of the time they are clueless at the topic at hand when it comes to computers, there only response to any discussion computer related being, “Buy a Mac.”

Recently, a guy I know solicited his friends on Facebook for new laptop advice. His needs were really simple: Something cheap, no bells and whistles, he just needs it to write on. That’s it. The best advice came from someone who clearly knew what they were talking about, and gave my friend some great advice on how he can achieve his goal for just a few hundred bucks.

Then the Mac users piped in how he should by a Mac. I swear, it’s as if the members of the Cult of Apple are incapable of reading and, if that’s inaccurate, they sure as hell have little to know reading comprehension. First and foremost, Macs aren’t inexpensive. They are the opposite of that. For what it costs to purchase a middle-of-the-road Mac, I can build a faster Windows laptop. But that’s not the point. The point is he said in the second sentence of the post that he was looking for something inexpensive. For his particular needs, he can get away with a laptop under $300. You are not finding a decent Mac, refurb or otherwise, for under $300.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care who owns what. Macs are really needed for a subset of people whose computer skills are limited to pushing a button to power it on. These machines are perfect for those type of folks because it’s tough to screw up a Mac. But, man, I get so tired of this dipshit excuse that Windows always crashes. No, it doesn’t. I mean it will if you keep opening those .exes in your email from you grandma and throwing viruses on your machine, but on the whole, I can’t remember the last time any of my machines have crashed. Then again, I’m not installing garbage on my computer, so there’s that.

And don’t get me started on the false notion that Macs don’t get viruses. They do, but Apple won’t tell you about them and don’t patch their computers for them for months. That’s a fact, jack.

From https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/can-macs-get-viruses :

“Mac OS X software has more high-risk vulnerabilities than all versions of Windows put together,” explains Bogdan, “Apple markets these products as virus-free. They say you don’t need an antivirus, because they know people hate antivirus software. These utilities often slow down your computer, so they don’t want to promote them.”

Apple has also been criticized for being slow to deal with threats and shut vulnerabilities down. Rootpipe was discovered in October 2014, but the fix only came out this month (April 2015), and it only patches Yosemite, not older editions of OS X. To make matters worse, the patch doesn’t actually fix the problem properly. Apple’s big rival may have a bad reputation, but it has taken decisive action to tackle that perception.

But, yeah, your Mac is safe, I swear.

Oh, and Steve Jobs? He was a cunt and you know it.

There’s plenty of room for both Macs and PC in the computing world. Both are great choices depending on its users’ needs (although the fantasy land Mac users live in really is laughable). It’s like some people want an SUV, some want one of those little battery-operated cars. Both are going to get you to your destination, both have their pros and cons, and both are (probably) a good choice for their owner.

I guess the point of this is, no matter what you own, if someone is looking for advice, take a minute and actually read what their needs are before opening your big fat mouth and sounding like an idiot. I actually recommended laptops to people at one point, it was part of my job, and I would recommend Macs, Dells, Lenovos, Acers and other types because it all depends on the needs of the person buying it. You’re nothing but an asshole if you try to convince someone to buy a $1,000 machine when a $250 will be more than sufficient.

This video has nothing to do with anything other than the fact I love this genre of music and Turbo Kid is an awesome movie:

You’re so dumb. You are so dumb.

Two Fridays ago…well, not yesterday, but the Friday before Friday before yesterday…I was an in accident. Some dipshit wasn’t paying attention, cut over to my lane and plowed me right into the guardrail. There is so many fucked up things about this whole situation:

  1. When I saw the driver about to hit me, I started cutting into the breakdown lane, but he was having none of that, he just kept coming anyway, into the damn breakdown lane with me.
  2. Dude didn’t even slow down or apply his breaks as he was pushing me into the rail. I know this because I could see his taillights seeing how they were like 3 feet away from me.
  3. The guy was clearly fucking lost, and clearly fucking distracted with something (more on that in a moment).
  4. Dicksuck admitted to the police on the scene that he was in fact at fault. Until he changed his story.
  5. My Escape, my beautiful, innocent, always-good-to-me Escape, is totaled.

You can figure out what happened by 1. and 2. But if you didn’t, long story short, I was taking an exit ramp that has two lanes. I was in the left, he was in the right. He got over to the left to (what I figured) enter the highway. I got over to the right. No big deal. Until he decided to get back in the right lane WHEN I WAS ALMOST PARALLEL WITH HIM. Me moving to the breakdown lane did nothing, because the stupid fuck kept on coming over. So in addition to the driver’s side quarter panel being fucked (pictures below), there is a lovely scrape on the passenger side from the guardrail. (Irrelevant of course because of 5.)

When the cop arrived, he asked me first what happened. I told him pretty much what I just wrote up there, but a little longer. He walked about 100 – 150 yards to where the idiot cause of this whole thing was and asked him what happened. The cop then went back to his car, filled out the report, and came back to me with my driver’s license and registration.

“Here you go, sir,” he said, handing it back to me.

“Did he corroborate my story?” I asked the officer, immediately regretting using ‘corroborate’ because that just seems like I was making something up.

“Yes sir. He will be listed at fault for the accident.”

Good, I thought. At least I didn’t have to worry about fighting that. Until Monday when my insurance company called and informed me that the douche changed his tune and was now saying I rear-ended him. The fuck?

Rather than go into every detail, both my insurance rep and his insurance rep thought that his claim was ridiculous. While his insurance rep didn’t out and out say it — he’s in a position after all — I could here the smile in his voice as I openly mocked the dick who hit me.

But, it gets better. My insurance agent told me that not only did it go down as not my fault because of all the evidence I had, they are also going to get my deductible back when it’s determined it’s his fault and I’m probably going to get my lost work wages too.

Also, as a bonus, today I went and picked up the police report. Not only was the shitstain charged at fault for the accident; not only was dickface issued a ticket for the accident; but it’s also noted in the report that the asshole was distracted by the GPS when the accident happened.

Yeah, you piece of fucking shit. Good luck on not being found at fault here. Cunt.

On the bright side, I got double what I expected the value to be for my Escape, and I got a brand new one with better (and more) options than my baby, and the payments are slightly less than what I was paying. Yes, I absolutely would prefer not to have payments, and I was SO looking forward to being payment free, but I’m in a fortunate position where this won’t hurt me financially. It just really sucks.

“Don’t worry, no one will ever hurt you again,” was what I whispered to my truck after I cleaned it out for the last time. I’m going to fucking miss that SUV.