Archive for the “Work” Category

I’ve always had trouble getting a good night’s sleep because of my snoring. But for the past month, it’s gotten far, far worse, where I’ve been waking up about every hour for no reason. I mean, if I had to pee each time I woke up, I’d be worried (that would be fat boy diabetes), but I’m just waking up. As if my body is saying, “HI! Just waking you up for no fucking reason!”

I dick around for 5 or 10 minutes, then go back to sleep, only to wake up again in an hour. So, after all has said and done, I may have gotten three hours a night of sleep a night since this started. Mind you, these aren’t consecutive hours; they’re just three house. Do you know what this does to a person? Let me fucking tell you (in no particular order).

Any reflexes you might have thought you had, well kiss them goodbye. I normally keep a reasonable distance between myself and the vehicle in front of me when driving. I’ve doubled that in the past month. My reflexes have been sloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

You know the true meaning of insomnia. Late at night on Facebook, without fail, you’ll see at least one post from your friend’s saying they have insomnia. They don’t. They just can’t sleep that night. When you can’t sleep 30 days in a row, you are on an entirely different level. I’m not even judging those folks who are complaining about their “insomnia” because I used to do the same. God, those were the days.

You fall asleep randomly and without realizing it. You know how when you are super tired and you are driving and you say to yourself, “I can shut my eyes for five seconds; I’ll be fine”. And you KNOW that’s crazy. It’s stupid and dangerous and insane, and you know that while you are thinking it. However, when you haven’t had any sort of “night’s sleep” in a month, you don’t get the luxury of thinking you can close your eyes safely for X amount of time. It just happens on its own, and its fucking terrifying. Fortunately, that has only happened twice, and only for a matter of seconds, but it’s no less scary. I now have caffeine pills in my car.

Caffeine pills aren’t all that. But they help somewhat.

Talking becomes a chore. You are so exhausted, forming simple sentences requires a lot of thought. And when that thought is finally ready to become words, those words can be so slurred, people ask if you are drunk. (Yes, this happened to me. A co-worker jokingly said it, but I sounded like I was.)

Your eyes droop. I had no idea this was going on until a co-worker pointed it out.

You lightly hallucinate. That was the moment I knew shit was going bad, when I started seeing things that weren’t there. I’m not talking about shadow people or anything like that. Mostly it’s weird things, like seeing a cup when it’s not really there. This has happened more than once; I’ll reach down for a cup to get a drink that I know is there because I see it out of the corner of my eye (we’ll just ignore that I never got a drink in the first place). It’s only when my fingers grasp at nothing do I realize that that mind was being a dick and was never really there.

My co-workers notice how fucked up I’ve been lately, and demanded I get a sleep study. Keila, my BBFF acted like I was causing a risk to her while she was on the road at the same time as me, but we all know it’s because she cares.

I got my sleep study consultation last week, now I’m just waiting for the insurance company to approve the actual study. I really don’t want for this to be a battle, but I’m prepared for a fight if need be. All I want at this point is 8 hours of blissful sleep, but I’ll settle for 6.

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I’m not a volunteer. I’m glad there are people out there that do volunteer, but it’s not for me. I’m too lazy.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m heartless (I kinda am), but I do my good will in other ways. I donate money to causes I like. I donate my old clothes/books/furniture/etc. to the Salvation Army as opposed to throwing it out. I give to a few causes on Patreon. Now, granted, I’m getting something back either in the form of tax write offs and/or perks (in the case of Patreon), but I would still donate even if I didn’t get the tax benefit.

Recently, my employer has started this thing called Community Service. Well, it’s not really called that. We call it that. Or Volunforce. Basically all employees are now required to “volunteer” at least 25 hours a year for approved or pre-approved charities and events. I have a LOT of problems with this, which will be another blog post eventually, but as I told Joy, my sister, I’m really fortunate to truly love what I do as well as the people I work with, so if I have to do this, so be it. But, yeah, I do take issue with the idea of it. Anyway…

So far this year, I have 7 hours applied to the mandatory 25. This 7 was earned over in two 3.5 hour spurts volunteering for SOME (So Others Might Eat). Basically, I went to this place where they serve food to those less fortunate, not necessarily homeless, and helped out. There are a variety of jobs to do, such as serving food, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, or, what I did both times, serving coffee. It was an interesting experience all around. Once I learned out how to determine who wants coffee or tea (you just watch for the cups to be raised in the air), I was also told that the people getting the coffee or tea were only allowed to have at the most three sugars or three Sweet & Lows. I think this has to do something about addicts just wanting sugar, but I really didn’t care to ask. All I needed were the rules. I will say, though, those folks that want more than three will act like they don’t know that they can’t have more than three when they see a new face (mine).

Having never volunteered for something like this before, I didn’t know what to expect. But even so, some things surprised me. For instance, I was genuinely surprised on how these folks treated one another. Meaning, no food went to waste. I had expected that, for sure, but I figured it would be something along the lines of people taking with them what they didn’t finish, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, whatever food went uneaten was offered up to whoever wanted it. I don’t know why I found that surprising, maybe because I have such a low opinion of people anymore, but it was pretty…I don’t know. Touching, I guess. Here are some people that have far, far less than what I do, but I get this feeling that they are far, far less selfish than me. Don’t get me wrong, I freely admit I will always be selfish, and this wasn’t a life changing experience, but I was humbled a little.

I should also mention the first time I did the Volunforce for SOME, there was a dude that was dressed just like Raiden. It might have even been him, I was too in awe to ask.

The second time I did SOME, a guy called me over. He was standing against a wall, with no one to his right or left. He mumbled something to me.

“What?”

Mumble Mumble Mumble.

“I’m sorry, you have to speak up.”

Abramumble Mumblenight.

“One more time, brother.”

“I said you look like Abracadabra McKnight!”

“I don’t know who that is.”

“I know you don’t know who that is.”

At this point, the gentlemen turned to his right and started talking to the person that wasn’t there.

“I told you he wouldn’t know who you are.”

“No. No goddammit.”

“I know.”

He was getting mad at this person he was having (from my point of view) this one-sided conversation with, so I walked away.

I’m looking forward to my next SOME trip. I’m not going to lie, I do get a good feeling when I help out. But I also leave with some good stories. So win/win all around, I guess.

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Today was a good day. The a/c guy, David, came out and took a look at my heat pump. Unfortunately it wasn’t the capacitor like I had hoped and like my buddy Roman had suggested. That was the first thing David looked at and said he would have been surprised if that was it because he had replaced that a few months ago when he had replaced the motor. It ended up being something else that cost some money, which was fine because what am I going to do? He seems like a solid guy, he has a great rating on Angie’s List and I don’t know shit about heat pumps, so there’s no complaint here. All I know is my a/c is working after being without for 24 hours and that money I spent today was well worth it. I think the next time it breaks down I’ll just replace the whole thing. That thing is at least 14 years old, well past its prime, so I’ll probably be looking at a new one in the next year or two.

The whole thing was pretty good all around. I’ve been trying to get a handle on my anxiety lately for a variety of reasons, and I took this whole heat pump situation in relative stride. It didn’t stress me out nearly as much as I thought it would, and that’s a good thing. I’ve been stressed the fuck out for the past year and I can’t figure out why, and it’s been affecting my health. Lately I’ve been trying to use some techniques my therapist has suggested and those seem to be working somewhat. I may even start taking Yoga at the Y up the street from me. They have a class every Sunday from 5 – 6 and since I’m generally not doing anything anyway, I might as well go see what it’s all about. Even if it doesn’t help, there’s will surely be some ladies wearing yoga pants, and that will help with the stress.

I also got good news in our staff meeting today. I’ve been really buried at work lately with new hires requesting laptops, and my co-workers are doing me a solid and helping take some of that load off, freeing me up to train another department on how to train new laptop users. Basically, if I can get them all trained up, it takes a HUGE amount of work off of me so I can focus on other things. I’m really looking forward to this, and after today’s meeting, I’ll be getting the help to get it done sooner than later.

The good hits kept coming because my credit card FINALLY arrived in the mail, so I was able to pay off a few outstanding Kickstarter projects and renew my Sirius/XM account for another 6 months (at a GREAT price, about $5 a month). Plus, after talking to the folks at my bank, they mentioned a deal they had on their credit card, which happened to be 0% interest on transfers and new purchases for the first 12 months. The guy seemed surprised when I told him how much credit card debt I had. It’s pretty low, but it’s not low enough where jumping on this deal wouldn’t save me some money.

To cap off a pretty decent day, I got some work stuff accomplished from home and then watched An Honest Liar3 Days of the Condor48 Hours, and the first 30 minutes of Above the Law. So, yeah, today was a good day.

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I was helping a user out at work the other day with her new laptop, and we got to talking about music.

Long story short, she is a fan of ’80s tunes (and, really, who isn’t?) and I told her I’d shoot her a list of what I owned and if she saw anything on it, let me know.

Before I sent her the email, I glanced over what I did own, and made an addendum to the unsent email:

“And, no, I don’t have any excuse for Air Supply. I can’t even remember why it’s there. I don’t even listen to it, but I know I downloaded it for a reason. Now it sounds like I’m feeling guilty and trying to explain my way out of it.”

Shortly after I sent it, I got her reply:

“As long as I don’t come across Tiffany, Debbie G., or the like, I’ll hold my tongue.”

“Holy hell. Don’t open that .txt document at all, then.” Came my rebuttal, lame as it was.

I looked at my mp3s again, a little closer, after I sent that reply.

I’m in for a beat down.

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Last week I checked out American Gangster.  It was pretty good, and if you haven’t checked it out yet, you should give it a whirl.

Anywho, the day after I watched it a co-worker, Keila, and I were discussing it.

“You know,” I said, “American Gangster was pretty good, but now I’m confused.”

“Why’s that?” Keila asked.

“Well, in Boyz n the Hood, Laurence Fishburne said that drugs were brought over by the white man to keep the black man down.  Yet American Gangster shows that it was a black man that brought over the drugs.  Now I don’t know what to think.”

Keila studied me for a moment.

“Stewie,” she said, as if to a small child, “you have got to stop trying to learn about my people by watching movies.”

Laughter ensued.

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