Archive for the “Dorkness” Category

Thanksgiving was two days ago, so that naturally means I bought a bunch of shit I didn’t need on Black Friday. Except I bought most of it on Thanksgiving day because of competition I imagine, Black Friday now happens on Thursday.

Since my family has decided not to buy anyone anything for Christmas (another blog to come, hopefully) with the exception of Jax, my grandnephew, most of the purchases were about me. They were mostly Blu-rays, but I did score a sweet gift for Jax, a memory card for my Kindle Fire, and some Blu-rays. Did I say I got some Blu-rays?

I didn’t need the memory card just yet (although I suspect I’d need it at some point), I purchased it now because I need to reset the Fire to factory settings. I have a bunch of books that I didn’t purchase from Amazon on there, so I figured I’d just move them over to the card so I wouldn’t have to transfer them from the PC again. (If you have a Kindle or Kindle Fire, Calibre is an absolute must. I purchased the app.) I need to reset the Fire because I sideloaded the Play store on it, and I updated the Kindle Reader against my better judgement. Now the reader as acting goofy. Thank god I didn’t mess with the firmware on it.

On another note (but related to reading), I’ve been considering making my never-updated book blog a straight up site for eBook deals. A major problem will be the site’s address (http://www.metroreading.alienredrum.com), but I can’t be assed to change that, and if people can’t be bothered to make one click to add it to favorites, I’ll live. I’m thinking to link it from HorrorTalk’s front page. I don’t know yet. It’s just more work and I’m struggling to write something on this often.

One thing at a time.

If you like to read, make sure to follow StoryBundle and HumbleBundle (this one does comics and games, too). They have great book bundles for dirt cheap. I can’t recommend these highly enough. I’ve bought more than my share from each. And StoryBundle offers the opportunity to donate a portion of your money to a charity of your choice.

And completely unrelated, I was revisiting Ozzy Osbourne’s No More Tears album today. I forgot how much I dug it.

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Okay, that title isn’t necessarily true. But it’s close enough.

There are a ton of TV shows I’m either behind on or have never started that I know I should and would like, but instead of watching what has been recommended or finishing out what I’m even enjoying, I watch the same shows almost every night:

Bob’s Burgers
Archer
The Wire
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

The worst part is I’ve started a few shows that I actually like, but have yet to finish (both The Deuce and The Night Of come to mind).

I don’t get it. I’m not averse to trying new show or films (I’ll get to that in a minute, because that’s even weirder), and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched the shows above. But when it comes to watching the latest episode of The Deuce, a show which I’m really digging, or an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, more often than not I’m going with the latter.

Movies are even more weird (like I said). For example, I have had It Follows and The Witch on my “to watch” list forever now, and what am I currently watching? The Silence of the Lambs. Something I’ve seen countless times. What’s even odder is if I were to watch something I haven’t seen, I’m going to something from the ’70s before something recent. I’ll end up seeing Django Kill… If You Live, Shoot! before I finally end up watching Wonder Woman.

The opposite is true on books, though. I can count on one hand how many books I will re-read (The Stand, IT, and Ender’s Game immediately come to mind). However, I won’t even consider reading those over something I’m even mildly interested in; hell, if I do re-read something, I’ll do it while reading something else rather than by itself.

Whatever. I gotta go. I might mess something in a movie I’ve seen 20 times.

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When I first started this blog a hundred years ago, I used to be so good at keeping this updated. One of the main reasons I started it – and I’ve said this before – is an author said the best way to get better at writing is to always write. I’m not an author of novels, and I have no goals to be, but I do write reviews and I’m always wanting to be better at writing them. So it’s stupid not to keep up on this, more so because I actually pay for this site and the domain name. I’m just wasting money on something I’m not using…something that only benefits me.

And the pisser is, when I do constantly keep up with this, it shows in my writing. At least I think it does. Not only do I believe I’m a stronger wordsmith when I’m always putting something to paper (or screen), but the words come easier. What’s weird is I used to have a lot to say, and it was easy to do tons of entries. But now, I still feel like I have a lot to say or write, but the needling isn’t there to do it. There was a time I felt like I had to get the words out. That they were trapped in my head and they needed escape. Now, not so much. The words are still there, but the urgency to escape isn’t. I’m thinking this mainly has to do with how out of practice I am. I don’t write nearly as many blogs as I used to and in turn, not nearly many as reviews. Or maybe it’s vice versa, who knows. Either way, I miss it. At least the reviews part.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again because I know me, I’m going to make a conscious effort to start writing more. I feel empty when I don’t, which is ironic because writing is expelling words, so I shouldn’t feel empty like I do, I should feel full. But that’s getting too deep.

I’m jealous of my friend Kevin. He keeps multiple blogs steady updated. I don’t know how he…well I do know how he does it, with drive and discipline, two things I’m severely lacking. I only have two blogs (this and Metro Reading) and I can’t even keep one updated, much less the amount Kevin does. I’m going to try to get back on this Blog Bus. I’ve genuinely missed writing on a regular basis, and it has always felt good doing an update no matter how big or small. So my goal is not to pressure myself on the length of the post, something I’ve done a ton of in the past. If I have something to say, I should say it, no matter how big or small. I think if I start with that attitude, it will be helpful getting more output from my brain to my fingers.

With all that, I was in Macy’s last night and heard a song playing in the store that I used to (and still do, really) LOVE. I have to be honest, this was an interesting song to here in that store to say the least, all things considered.

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This past Tuesday, three Blu-rays came out that I had to have; fortunately their MSRP was set at a very reasonable price. So reasonable, in fact, that FYE of all places had them going for $9.99 a piece…cheaper than Amazon, even!

Word on the interwebs was that FYE busted street date on at least on of these films, so on Sunday I drove to the closest one to see what’s what. While they didn’t have the the one I had read about (I’ll get to it, dammit!), they did have another of the three: Cat’s Eye. I immediately purchased it, along with Twilight Zone: The Movie (which was a goddamn STEAL at $5. This damn thing is going for $40 for some ungodly reason.).

I wasn’t upset I struck out on the other two, it was Sunday after all.

On Tuesday night, I headed back to FYE after work to get the remaining Blu-rays. Unfortunately, they only had one, Stephen King’s IT. They had already sold out of the copy of Salem’s Lot. The. Copy. Let’s see, a classic TV mini-series based on a Stephen King novel hits Blu-ray for the first time a month before Hallofuckingween, and you get…one copy. WAY TO PLAN AHEAD, JERKS.

That’s okay, I didn’t sweat it too much. There are other FYEs around. I would hit them up this weekend, and that’s what I did today. The first one I went to, the employee was pretty damn helpful, checking the back and a few different places on the floor because he knew it had come in, but they must have sold it. Jesus, another store that only had one copy. Okay…fine. I had one more shot. I drove up to the final FYE near me. I looked around the store, couldn’t find it, asked the employee, to which he said, “Oh, sorry, I sold my only copy yesterday.” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? ONE COPY? Goddammit.

As I was heading out, a stack of CDs caught my eye, with the sign shouting $10 and under!!! Normally I would have kept going because who even buys CDs still, but one caught my eye: Def Leppard’s Hysteria. For $5. Since Spotify doesn’t stream Def Leppard and Hysteria is one of my top three albums of all time, I went ahead and bought it. One, to keep in my car, because I can listen to that ANY TIME, and also to not make the entire trip a bust.

Honestly, though, I don’t understand how FYE stays in business at this point. Their prices are either rape high or losing-a-profit low, with no in between. Plus the way they organize their movies is dog shit. It’s all very haphazard. The employees are friendly, though. At least the three I went to, they seemed genuinely eager to help. But the crap selection and sky high prices are unforgivable.

I also went to Best Buy and Barnes & Noble today. That rant is coming tomorrow. Or rather today since it’s 1:30 in the morning.

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I’m not the type to believe in ghosts. I mean, I do believe in ghosts, but I think that 99.99% of sightings or whatever can be explained away scientifically. It’s that .01% that makes you go hmmmmm. Like that time I was traversing near a graveyard.

Many moons ago, like at least 20 years, I was dating this girl who had a friend that lived near an old ass cemetery. Apparently, this was one of those family-type deals, so it wasn’t very big, but it had graves going back to the Civil War. Rumor had it, there were some slaves buried on that land too, but unmarked of course.

So, naturally, me, my lady-at-the-time, her friend and her friend’s boyfriend decided to go check out this graveyard in the middle of the night. Because that’s what you do. Of course we only brought one flashlight (because that’s what you do) and soon after arriving at the cemetery, I gave that up to my girlfriend. Off her and her friend went, exploring and reading the headstones, while Chris (I don’t know if that was his name, but for simplicity’s sake, it is now) and I hung back and chatted and smoked.

Eventually we realized we no longer heard the girls, so we walked out onto the street and saw that they were about 1/2 mile off, already heading home. We shook our heads and started after them.

Now, before I get into this next part, I want to elaborate on two things. First, we weren’t…scared I guess. The thought of any ghosts or anything like that never crossed our mind. We had spent most of the time bullshitting about movies and such, so we weren’t even creeped out about anything. Second, it’s important to describe the layout. Basically, you had woods, cemetery, small strip of woods, then the road that runs parallel. Below is a half-ass diagram of the layout.


MAIN HIGHWAY


LOTS OF WOODS BUT NOT ENOUGH SO YOU CAN’T HERE THE MAIN HIGHWAY


CEMETERY

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________    ENTRANCE         _________

SMALL STRIP OF WOODS (MAYBE 10′) BETWEEN ROAD AND CEMETERY

______________________________________________________________________________________________________   ENTRANCE         _________

LITTLE RESIDENTIAL ROAD MY GF’S FRIEND LIVED ON

<— we were headed thataway

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So Chris and I exited where that entrance is. So we had maybe 1/4 of a mile or so to walk until we were passed the cemetery. That strip of woods between the residential road and the cemetery might have been about 10 feet wide, but it wasn’t dense, you could kind of see the graveyard from the road through those “woods”, even at night. But, again, we weren’t scared, freaked out, or creeped out. We were just heading back to the house like it was normal.

Almost immediately after we got on the residential road and started walking back to the house, I heard the crunch, crunch, crunch of someone or something (don don donnnnnnnnnnn) pacing us in that strip of woods on our right. I stopped, and Chris stopped with me. “You hear that too?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

We both peered into the woods, but saw nothing. Just the graveyard through the brush.

We started walking again.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

We stopped again. Looked at each other, looked at the woods. Saw nothing. Not even an animal.

Walk. Walk. Walk.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

Stop. Look. Nothing.

By about the third time we stopped, I’m not even going to lie, I was nervous. I’m the first to admit, it could have been an animal. But we couldn’t see anythign. It definitely wasn’t our girlfriends. We could see them at the end of the street where the light was (NATURALLY). And if it was a person, we definitely would have seen them. The woods weren’t dense.

Walk. Walk. Walk.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

This time we stopped and didn’t look in the woods. We looked at each other and knew what we had to do. RUN!

We ran, the thing (or whatver) crunching along at the same pace as us, stopping when it reached the end of the cemetery line.

We got back to the girls, out of breath and shakey. They asked why we ran, and again we looked at each other. “No reason,” I said. “Just wanted to catch up with you guys,” Chris offered. The girls looked at us weird but left it at that.

Chris and I never talked about it, and I lost track of him after my girlfriend and I broke up.

I don’t know what was pacing us in the woods that night. I know it wasn’t the wind because there wasn’t any. I’m confident it wasn’t a (live) person because we would have definitely seen them, even withot the flashlight. If it were a (small) animal, maybe I’d buy it. But if it were something else…I don’t know. I’d probably believe it. No matter what, though, it was creepy as hell.

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