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Caught this over on Mero’s blog.

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I asked the fabulous and fascinating Merovingienne to interview me. I will answer the questions shortly, but first, I am contractually obligated to explain the rules to this inquisitive round-robin.

Here are the instructions:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “Interview me.” “Blow me” or “Eat me” are not acceptable substitutes.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different. I’ll post the questions in the comments section of this post.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post on your blog.

5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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Merovingienne’s questions…

1.You have the opportunity to take revenge on someone who has wronged you personally. Who do you pick and what do you do to ’em?

The kid who throw the stick in my eye when I was 7. Granted, he was a kid, but he grew up into a punk. Last I heard he was in the pokey.

I’d blind him.

2.You are granted the wish of one superpower, your pick. What do you pick and why?

The ability to stop time. The fun I could have with that one.

If I had to use a superpower for good, however, it would be time travel. Then I could go back in time and do whatever I can to save great shows like Miami Vice and Knight Rider from going off the air. Oh, and I would kill the producers of reality tv. That would benefit all of us.

3. If you had to be married (with all that marriage entails) to a male celebrity, who would the lucky guy be?

Robert De Niro or Samual Jackson. Both are bad motherfuckers. I’d withhold sex, kissing and all other shows of affection, too, so I don’t know how long the marriage would last.

4. You get to change the ending of any movie you want. Which movie do you pick, and what is the new ending?

Chasing Amy. Up until that dreadful scene at the end, the movie is damn near perfect.

I would cut out the whole “talk” scene Holden has with Banky and Alyssa. I’d keep the last 3 minutes that immediately follows that scene.

5. You’ve mentioned being attracted to women who are unattainable. What makes them unattainable?

Oh hell, tough question. I know what the answer is, but I don’t know how to answer it without getting too personal.

Generally, however, I always seem to develope a mutual attraction with women who either are already in a relationship, live in an area that it just wouldn’t work or are mentally unobtainable (meaning issues).

  • Interview Me

  • Damn, why does the fun start when I’m not blogging?

    If I had to use a superpower for good, however, it would be time travel.

    Dude, Butterfly Effect.

  • Stewie’s smarter than Aston Kutcher. Duh! LOL

  • Interview me, bitch.

    Then you can blow me.

  • Lance, here’s your questions…

    1. While generally cider has more alcohol than most beers out there, there is a stigma attached to it that men who drink cider are pussies. What do you think?

    2. I was once in an elevator with a woman who had a very low-cut blouse. When she caught me looking at her cleavage, she scoffed, gave me a dirty look and turned away. I think she must have known when she shoved her boobs into her shirt that morning that people may glance. What would you have done if you were in my shoes?

    3. 1986 was a big year for you as it was the year of Aliens. It was also the year of Hands Across America. Did you participate? If so, who’s hands did you hold? If not, why not?

    4. What is your idea of a perfect romantic evening?

    5. What is the best way to kill a man?

    ————————————-

    Maxine – That comment was seriously f’d up because of that movie’s ending. lol. I’m glad you are still hanging out, even with your school demands.

    Renaldo – right the fuck on, bro.

    fnord – it’s a round robin. I think lance has to ask you your questions. if not, i gotta think of some more. it took me all day to think of lances. if lance can’t do it, i assure you, i will. i already have one in mind. AND YOU KNOW WHAT TOPIC IT WILL BE ON!

  • fnord, nevermind, apparently it doesn’t matter.

    give me some time and i’ll think up 5. tomorrow at the latest as I am actually going out tonight.

    Yes, i have friends.

  • Fnord…

    1. If no one would find out, would you dress up for a Cosplay convention or Furry convention? Who/what would you go as?

    2. What excuse are you going to give us at HorrorFind as to why your “girlfriend” couldn’t make it?

    3. If you had to, would you have sex with a 80 year old man or a 10 year old girl? Note, only one answer is acceptable, it’s one or the other.

    4. For $100,000, would you put a glass rod up your ass and ride a motorcycle for a mile? What if it was over railroad tracks?

    5. Assuming necrophilia was both legal and socially acceptable, and you had the opportunity to have sex with a recently dead celebrity, who would it be? (By recently dead, you could chose, say, Marilyn Monroe immediately after she died from her OD. You wouldn’t have to dig her up now).

  • Interview me.

  • PLUG WHORE:
    http://fnordboy.blogspot.com/

    Answers to Stewie’s questions.

  • I hate you fnord.

    afe – tomorrow i’ll throw something up.

  • All right, just keep it off my shirt, I like this one.

  • afe – HA!

    1. Such a big deal is made about sex and virginity in highschool. When that special moment came and you lost your virginity, did you think it was worth the hype?

    2. When Kurt Cobain died, people said he was the speaker of my generation (for the record, this is something that makes me sick). Who would you like to be the speaker of your generation? Why?

    3. You’ve mentioned in your blog that your girlfriend doesn’t know about it. Are you comfortable with her reading it, should she find it? Would it change your post topics?

    4. N’Synch or Backstreet Boys? Why?

    5. There’s a really cute redhead a couple tables up from me. What do you suggest is the best way I get her attention? Any particular pick up lines you recommend?

  • I’m lost. Who’s interviewing who in the blog you posted? Are those YOUR answers, or are you posting Mero’s?

    And you know you’d let Samuel Jackson poke you in the poop chute. You know it.

  • Her questions, my answers. jackass.

  • Good answers! And I agree with your assessment of Chasing Amy 100%.

    Thank you for playing…

  • Hmm..NOTHING from Freak!? (:-O

    I find this HARD to believe…???

  • mero – thanks! I get so irritated watching that scene in Amy. It’s a train wreck.

    jodi – i live with freak. we discussed it already.

  • Yeah, he already knows more than he wants to about me.

    Besides that, I hate crap like this.

  • Just to clarify, I’m loving everybody’s else’s questions and answers!! Keep it up!!

  • Ace

    Interview me?

  • Give me a day too think up the questions, Ace.

  • 1. If you could have sex with a cartoon character, who would be the lucky girl (or guy)?

    2. Taking slavery out of the equation, which side of the Civil War would you fight on? Why?

    3. Would you let gramps take photos of you for his personal collection? If not, what if money was involved? How much? (thanks fnord!)

    4. If you could ask one author one question, what would it be?

    5. Will you ever write one blog about your ex-fiance’, getting her completely out of your system, so you don’t bring her up anymore? :p

  • oops, Ace, those are your questions (but I’m thinking you got that because you were the last person who asked).

  • Ace

    I’ll put the answers on my blog. I won’t whore the address since you hate that. Anybody who really wants to read them knows where they are.

    And thanks!

  • It’s too late!

    dickhead fnord broke the seal!

    Ace’s blog is acerimrat.blogspot.com

  • #1 Seal Breaker, Bitch!

    Ya heard?!

  • wtf, interview me!!!

  • they’ll be up by tonight or tomorrow, tressa!

  • but i want you to interview me NOW. don’t care how, i want it now!

  • Okay, honkey.

    1. If you move who, besides me, are you going to miss most?

    2. You used to work at a coffeeshop. What type of customer did you hate most?

    3. If it gets hot in here, will you take off all your clothes? What if Gramps was waiting with his camera?

    4. If you could take one crime that is curently not punishable by death and make it punishable by death, what crime would it be? You may include any crime you want, such as driving in the left lane, but not passing. This is also assuming you believe in capital punishment. If you don’t, this question sucks.

    5. In some interviews, prison inmates have claimed that prison sex is not gay sex because they are doing what they have to do. That said, have you ever had prison sex? Ever wanted to?