I’m a man of my word…

On occasion, I am fortunate enough to get a Nigerian looking for money.

When I am patient, I can make them say some pretty stupid things.

The other night, though, I had no patience.

I have not made any spelling corrections as that would be too much work.

For the record, and contrary to what Fnordboy says, I am not an aryan. I just play one on Yahoo.

And, fuck, this thing is long. I may edit it later. Or I may just forget about it.

[22:30] bakkiy_luv_care: hello are u there?

[22:31] Alien_Redrum1947: NEED A PIC BEFORE I CAN TALK TO YOU.
[22:31] Alien_Redrum1947: BLOND HAIR BLUE EYE ONLY
[22:31] Alien_Redrum1947: SIG HEIL

[22:31] bakkiy_luv_care: okay
[22:31] bakkiy_luv_care: so what ur name?

[22:31] Alien_Redrum1947: NEED A PIC
[22:31] Alien_Redrum1947: NEED A PIC
[22:32] Alien_Redrum1947: YOU BETTER BE VANILLA

[22:32] bakkiy_luv_care: are u m or f?
[22:32] bakkiy_luv_care: where are u from ?
[22:32] bakkiy_luv_care: im comeig i let you see me pic

[22:32] Alien_Redrum1947: I AM A SUPERMAN

[22:32] bakkiy_luv_care: ok
[22:32] bakkiy_luv_care: ok
[22:33] bakkiy_luv_care: nice to have u here
[22:33] bakkiy_luv_care: so what ur name?

[22:33] Alien_Redrum1947: I NEED A PIC
[22:33] Alien_Redrum1947: I NEED TO KEEP THE BLOOD CLEAN
[22:33] Alien_Redrum1947: I CAN’T TAINT THE BLOOD

[22:33] bakkiy_luv_care: yse i ima
[22:33] bakkiy_luv_care: okay
[22:33] bakkiy_luv_care: soon u will see me pic
[22:34] bakkiy_luv_care: aoky

[22:34] Alien_Redrum1947: brb
[22:34] bakkiy_luv_care: babe what state are u there?

[22:34] Alien_Redrum1947: gonna go burn a cross in shiki’s yard
[22:34] Alien_Redrum1947: he’s tainting the blood

[22:34] bakkiy_luv_care: really
[22:35] bakkiy_luv_care: whta about me herte babe i mnost tell you that im here be/cos og u okay
[22:36] bakkiy_luv_care: im here bacos u of u here okay

[22:37] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m here
[22:37] Alien_Redrum1947: let’s get down to it
[22:37] Alien_Redrum1947: you want money
[22:37] Alien_Redrum1947: i want cyber sex
[22:37] Alien_Redrum1947: talk dirty to me
[22:37] Alien_Redrum1947: bonus points if you can spell correctly

[22:38] bakkiy_luv_care: lkove why are u saying this im just here to know 4 the frist time okas

[22:38] Alien_Redrum1947: you want to have cyber sex?
[22:38] Alien_Redrum1947: wait
[22:38] Alien_Redrum1947: ARE YOU 18 OR OLDER?

[22:39] bakkiy_luv_care: im 22 here and u?

[22:39] Alien_Redrum1947: 33
[22:39] Alien_Redrum1947: i don’t need a picture
[22:39] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m going to pretend you are bea arthur
[22:39] Alien_Redrum1947: let’s have cyber sex now

[22:40] bakkiy_luv_care: ooy oy is that why u are here with me?

[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: yes
[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: i want teh sex
[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: talk dirty to me, baby

[22:40] bakkiy_luv_care: babe in de frist plice where are u from ?
[22:40] bakkiy_luv_care: and what is ur name?

[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m from USA
[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: where we cyber on first meeting

[22:40] bakkiy_luv_care: ok

[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: my name is Tom

[22:40] bakkiy_luv_care: what sate are u dare

[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: New Jersey
[22:40] Alien_Redrum1947: enough with this small talk!

[22:41] bakkiy_luv_care: Tom u hvae a nice name there

[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: i take off your shirt
[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: hmmmmm
[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: your boobies sag to your knees
[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: i like that

[22:41] bakkiy_luv_care: really

[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: yes
[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: will you take off my pants?

[22:41] bakkiy_luv_care: babe u havce to let me be frist okay

[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: no baby
[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: i have money
[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m a rich man
[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: i need a woman

[22:41] bakkiy_luv_care: ok

[22:41] Alien_Redrum1947: but i need to know if she can please me
[22:42] Alien_Redrum1947: now take off my pants

[22:42] bakkiy_luv_care: so what do u 4 aliveing?

[22:42] Alien_Redrum1947: i don’t work. i inherited money
[22:42] Alien_Redrum1947: my parents died in the amazon

[22:42] bakkiy_luv_care: stop that babe im not here 4 that

[22:42] Alien_Redrum1947: they were wealthy

[22:42] bakkiy_luv_care: okay

[22:42] Alien_Redrum1947: can we please have sex now?
[22:42] Alien_Redrum1947: i want you
[22:43] Alien_Redrum1947: you’re saggy boobs get me teh hot
[22:43] Alien_Redrum1947: take off my pants

[22:43] bakkiy_luv_care: i need some oe that iwll be a rosupble for not one that willl take has u do okay

[22:43] Alien_Redrum1947: i don’t know what that means
[22:43] Alien_Redrum1947: i don’t speak retard. 🙁

[22:43] bakkiy_luv_care: so

[22:43] Alien_Redrum1947: so, are you taking off my pants now
[22:43] Alien_Redrum1947: ?

[22:44] bakkiy_luv_care: why are u saying all this don/t you now that my mom is here with me?

[22:44] Alien_Redrum1947: AWESOME

[22:44] bakkiy_luv_care: don;t you kanow that

[22:44] Alien_Redrum1947: A THREESOME
[22:44] Alien_Redrum1947: can she take off my pants, then?

[22:44] bakkiy_luv_care: yse with me

[22:44] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m gonna suck on your pancake nipples while your mom takes off my pants okay?
[22:45] Alien_Redrum1947: has your mom taken off my pants yet?

[22:45] bakkiy_luv_care: well do u hvae cam?

[22:45] Alien_Redrum1947: my fat cock is bulging because i’m so hard

[22:45] bakkiy_luv_care: can i seee u on ur cam?

[22:45] Alien_Redrum1947: but they are trapped in my pants

[22:45] bakkiy_luv_care: nopw

[22:45] Alien_Redrum1947: do you have one?

[22:45] bakkiy_luv_care: now

[22:45] Alien_Redrum1947: you show me your cam.
[22:45] Alien_Redrum1947: you first
[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: c’mon baby
[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: i have another person waiting for cbyer
[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: but you are first
[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: so you want to do this with me and your mom or what.

[22:46] bakkiy_luv_care: ok

[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: awesome

[22:46] bakkiy_luv_care: so u hvae to let me be okay

[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: and i’ll send you some money
[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: you want some money?
[22:46] Alien_Redrum1947: i have lots

[22:47] bakkiy_luv_care: so u wanna send me money
[22:47] bakkiy_luv_care: ?

[22:47] Alien_Redrum1947: yes
[22:47] Alien_Redrum1947: but i need to know if you are good at teh sex first
[22:47] Alien_Redrum1947: that’s how we do it in the states

[22:47] bakkiy_luv_care: how much are u goanna send to me here?

[22:47] Alien_Redrum1947: how much you need, baby
[22:47] Alien_Redrum1947: plus it depends on how good you and your mom are
[22:47] Alien_Redrum1947: i’ll send you both money

[22:48] bakkiy_luv_care: u just tell me how much u are going send to me here

[22:48] Alien_Redrum1947: how’s 50K to start?

[22:48] bakkiy_luv_care: cos if u do that i ill like to come over to meeet you there this week

[22:48] Alien_Redrum1947: really?
[22:48] Alien_Redrum1947: but we have to have the cyber now, though

[22:48] bakkiy_luv_care: yes

[22:48] Alien_Redrum1947: i need to know what i’m getting, first

[22:49] bakkiy_luv_care: that is what i want you to do if u really wanna hvae everything doing with me okay

[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: OKAY
[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: OKAY
[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: hurry up.
[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: my cock is still hard
[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: how old is your mom?

[22:49] bakkiy_luv_care: because if im there with u i will do all u want to you opkay

[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: YES!
[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: what about your mom

[22:49] bakkiy_luv_care: cos i will not want you to hvae anyotherr woman

[22:49] Alien_Redrum1947: will she do what i want, too?

[22:50] bakkiy_luv_care: like what plz?

[22:50] Alien_Redrum1947: like sex
[22:50] Alien_Redrum1947: i want sex
[22:50] Alien_Redrum1947: i want it now

[22:50] bakkiy_luv_care: u mean my mom?

[22:50] Alien_Redrum1947: BOTH OF YOU
[22:50] Alien_Redrum1947: if you don’t have sex with me now, though, i’m gonna leave and give the money to someone else

[22:50] bakkiy_luv_care: how she do mthat why u hvae me alredy/?

[22:51] Alien_Redrum1947: because you aren’t experienced like your mom is
[22:51] Alien_Redrum1947: let’s fuck
[22:51] Alien_Redrum1947: c’mon
[22:51] Alien_Redrum1947: will you be bea arthur?

[22:51] bakkiy_luv_care: babe dont u klnow that u are insout my momhere cos im talking to you and u are make that statement to my mom why

[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: because i like your mom
[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: i want her, too
[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: tell your mom to leave the room
[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: we need to have sex
[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: because i’m leaving otherwise
[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: i don’t have time for games

[22:52] bakkiy_luv_care: well if u dont want me you can go instate that satte ment to my mom

[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: PUT HER ON
[22:52] Alien_Redrum1947: I’LL TELL HER

[22:53] bakkiy_luv_care: that why i told u if u really want me send de ,money so that ican come ovewr to you soon

[22:53] Alien_Redrum1947: is your mom there
[22:53] Alien_Redrum1947: YES OR NO

[22:53] bakkiy_luv_care: so that we bprth can betother
[22:53] bakkiy_luv_care: has one okay
[22:53] bakkiy_luv_care: that is what i want from you now

[22:53] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m not going to be with someone who won’t have sex with me
[22:53] Alien_Redrum1947: I WANT SEX NOW

[22:54] bakkiy_luv_care: ok

[22:54] Alien_Redrum1947: MONEY AFTER SEX
[22:54] Alien_Redrum1947: i can get the money out tonight

[22:54] bakkiy_luv_care: so if u wnatr do this howmuch are u give me for now?

[22:54] Alien_Redrum1947: but before money comes, i do
[22:54] Alien_Redrum1947: 50K
[22:54] Alien_Redrum1947: that’s 50,000

[22:54] bakkiy_luv_care: 50,000 what?

[22:54] Alien_Redrum1947: dollars
[22:54] Alien_Redrum1947: US
[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: dollars

[22:55] bakkiy_luv_care: really

[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: that’s a drop of what i have
[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: i have millions

[22:55] bakkiy_luv_care: so where didi u get that from ?

[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: what are you wearing
[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: MY PARENTS DIED
[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: LETS SEX NOW

[22:55] bakkiy_luv_care: ok
[22:55] bakkiy_luv_care: send de money to me now?

[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: NO
[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: SEX FIRST

[22:55] bakkiy_luv_care: how are u going do that now?

[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: i have connections
[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: look
[22:55] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m tired

[22:56] bakkiy_luv_care: i will do that to you here okay

[22:56] Alien_Redrum1947: you going to sex or what
[22:56] Alien_Redrum1947: let’s sex now
[22:56] Alien_Redrum1947: because i’m going to sign off if you don’t
[22:56] Alien_Redrum1947: what are you wearing

[22:56] bakkiy_luv_care: just end de money and i will like make de love to you opkay

[22:56] Alien_Redrum1947: nope
[22:56] Alien_Redrum1947: last chance
[22:56] Alien_Redrum1947: are you going to suck on my wizard stick?

[22:57] bakkiy_luv_care: well if uwnat that

[22:57] Alien_Redrum1947: you put your mouth on my stick?

[22:57] bakkiy_luv_care: but just send de money for to know that u are really with money and then i will make de love to you here has long ahs u want okay

[22:57] Alien_Redrum1947: you know what
[22:57] Alien_Redrum1947: put your mom on

[22:58] bakkiy_luv_care: what dare?

[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: ‘i want to talk to your mom
[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MOM

[22:58] bakkiy_luv_care: know
[22:58] bakkiy_luv_care: npo no non nonon

[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: no
[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: you are no fun
[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: put your mom on
[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: i’m bringing her over
[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: you can’t have sex
[22:58] Alien_Redrum1947: put your mom on
[22:59] Alien_Redrum1947: PUT YOUR MOM ON
[22:59] Alien_Redrum1947: I WANT TO TALK TO HER!

[22:59] bakkiy_luv_care: imm here 4 you give my mom out thsi take me are do one okay

[22:59] Alien_Redrum1947: bullshit
[22:59] Alien_Redrum1947: you won’t give me the sex
[22:59] Alien_Redrum1947: i bet your mom will

[22:59] bakkiy_luv_care: brb
[22:59] bakkiy_luv_care: but du add me to ur list?

[22:59] Alien_Redrum1947: no
[22:59] Alien_Redrum1947: not unless you give me the sex or give me your mom

[23:00] bakkiy_luv_care: look here mom cal my now so u can add me to ur list okay
[23:00] bakkiy_luv_care: now?

[23:00] Alien_Redrum1947: NO
[23:00] Alien_Redrum1947: SEX
[23:00] Alien_Redrum1947: suck on me
[23:00] Alien_Redrum1947: NOW
[23:00] Alien_Redrum1947: or you don’t get the list

[23:00] *** (Link: yahoo://0:yahoo-profile:bakkiy_luv_care)bakkiy_luv_care has added you to their contact list. You may choose to (Link: yahoo://0:yahoo-accept:bakkiy_luv_care)accept or (Link: yahoo://0:yahoo-deny:bakkiy_luv_care)deny this action. You may also (Link: yahoo://0:yahoo-add:bakkiy_luv_care)add this user to your contact list or (Link: yahoo://0:yahoo-ignore:bakkiy_luv_care)ignore this user.
[23:00] *** You have denied access to bakkiy_luv_care.

[23:01] Alien_Redrum1947: DENIED
[23:01] Alien_Redrum1947: NO SEX
[23:01] Alien_Redrum1947: NO LIST
[23:01] Alien_Redrum1947: what’s it gonna be
[23:01] Alien_Redrum1947: you have 3 minutes

[23:01] bakkiy_luv_care: brb

[23:01] Alien_Redrum1947: 3 MINUTES
[23:02] Alien_Redrum1947: 2 minutes

She came back, but I blocked her.

I’m a man of my word.