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I hate ants. I get them every year in my house and there’s pretty much nothing I can do short of burning my house down to make them completely go away. And since they aren’t spiders, I won’t be doing anything rash and dousing the place with gasoline.

Okay, maybe I haven’t tried everything, but I have gone through my fair share of poisons and nothing seems to work 100%. The pisser is, I used to buy this bait that worked better than most, but now I can’t seem to find it anywhere. It doesn’t help that I can’t remember the name of it, because why would I.

I will say that Terro Liquid Ant Baits are the worst. The front of the box says “Kills all common household ants”, and there’s no denying it does that because those little bodies pile up around that liquid poison, but THEY KEEP COMING. I honestly don’t think this is one of those type of baits that kill the queen. So, basically, it’s just delicious food for ants that does nothing but gets more ants coming to your house to…I don’t know…die I guess. It’s a never-ending line of the little fucks heading to their buffet of death. I guess technically it’s doing what it promises, BUT I STILL HAVE ANTS COMING IN MY HOUSE.

What I switched to is Hot Shot Ant Bait, and that works okay I guess. Maybe. I don’t even know. I’m definitely seeing less ants, but I don’t know if it’s because I finally tossed the Terro or if Hot Shot is actually working. (And I say it only works “okay” because they totally bypassed the Hot Shot the other day and made a line right to my trashcan.)

The only thing I can really do is keep the kitchen super clean and wipe down the window sills about every day to preempt any ant trail. (And while I’m thinking about it, cayenne pepper on the counters didn’t do shit either.)

I think next year I’ll try something outside, so if anyone has a recommendation (that’s not Terro), shout it out. I’m willing to try about anything.

Unrelated, here’s a deal on the Matrix Box Set on Blu-ray. Currently it’s just $23.99. Have at it!

(If you don’t see a cool picture of the Matrix box set above, you have a pop-up blocker, so click here to get in on the deal.)

 

  • We had ants for a couple years that would show up in the Spring in our friggin’ dishwasher. I finally got rid of them this year by using some boric acid mixed with sugar placed in a lid from a salsa jar. The hardest part of this was opening the dishwasher and seeing like 8 of them sitting on that thing going to town and not killing them. The idea is that they’re attracted to the sugar and take the poison back to the nest and kill everyone they know. It’s kind of fucked up when you think of it that way but after a day or two, they were all gone. We still see a random ant here or there but never in the kitchen now. It’s like my kitchen is their Hiroshima.

  • I haven’t tried the boric acid yet. I’ll give that a shot next. I saw them in the trash can yesterday and started yelling at them. THERE’S NOTHING IN THERE! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?! I HATE YOU AND YOU’RE STUPID!