And no one can tell me any different…

You’re no better than anyone else.

I’ve always hated that saying. Because it’s bullshit. I’m better than a lot of people. A whole slew of them. And no one can tell me any different.

One day, the ex and I were driving along having some sort of discussion or another when I informed her that I, in fact, was better than a lot of people.

“You are no better than anyone else,” she replied.

“Yes I am,” I said. “Not only am I better than some people, I’m better than a lot of people. A whole bunch of people. Countries of people, even.”

“No you aren’t,” she told me. “No one is better than anyone else.”

“Except me.”

Now she was getting mad.

“No you aren’t,” she said, her patience wearing thin.

“Yes I am. Are you saying I’m not better than Ted Bundy?”

Silence.

“Charles Manson? Osama? OJ? Some crackhead? Some gangbanger shooting some kid in a drive-by? That lady who drowned her kids? Should I keep going?”

“You’re an asshole.” She said, pissed.

“That may be, but I’m better than a lot of other assholes,” I laughed.

Obviously she didn’t know me very well.