Apple users really are the worst.

There’s an old joke that goes, “An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar…I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.”

It’s high time they swap “atheist” for “apple owner” because good fucking Lord, those are far worse than atheists. Mainly because the majority of the time they are clueless at the topic at hand when it comes to computers, there only response to any discussion computer related being, “Buy a Mac.”

Recently, a guy I know solicited his friends on Facebook for new laptop advice. His needs were really simple: Something cheap, no bells and whistles, he just needs it to write on. That’s it. The best advice came from someone who clearly knew what they were talking about, and gave my friend some great advice on how he can achieve his goal for just a few hundred bucks.

Then the Mac users piped in how he should by a Mac. I swear, it’s as if the members of the Cult of Apple are incapable of reading and, if that’s inaccurate, they sure as hell have little to know reading comprehension. First and foremost, Macs aren’t inexpensive. They are the opposite of that. For what it costs to purchase a middle-of-the-road Mac, I can build a faster Windows laptop. But that’s not the point. The point is he said in the second sentence of the post that he was looking for something inexpensive. For his particular needs, he can get away with a laptop under $300. You are not finding a decent Mac, refurb or otherwise, for under $300.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care who owns what. Macs are really needed for a subset of people whose computer skills are limited to pushing a button to power it on. These machines are perfect for those type of folks because it’s tough to screw up a Mac. But, man, I get so tired of this dipshit excuse that Windows always crashes. No, it doesn’t. I mean it will if you keep opening those .exes in your email from you grandma and throwing viruses on your machine, but on the whole, I can’t remember the last time any of my machines have crashed. Then again, I’m not installing garbage on my computer, so there’s that.

And don’t get me started on the false notion that Macs don’t get viruses. They do, but Apple won’t tell you about them and don’t patch their computers for them for months. That’s a fact, jack.

From https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/can-macs-get-viruses :

“Mac OS X software has more high-risk vulnerabilities than all versions of Windows put together,” explains Bogdan, “Apple markets these products as virus-free. They say you don’t need an antivirus, because they know people hate antivirus software. These utilities often slow down your computer, so they don’t want to promote them.”

Apple has also been criticized for being slow to deal with threats and shut vulnerabilities down. Rootpipe was discovered in October 2014, but the fix only came out this month (April 2015), and it only patches Yosemite, not older editions of OS X. To make matters worse, the patch doesn’t actually fix the problem properly. Apple’s big rival may have a bad reputation, but it has taken decisive action to tackle that perception.

But, yeah, your Mac is safe, I swear.

Oh, and Steve Jobs? He was a cunt and you know it.

There’s plenty of room for both Macs and PC in the computing world. Both are great choices depending on its users’ needs (although the fantasy land Mac users live in really is laughable). It’s like some people want an SUV, some want one of those little battery-operated cars. Both are going to get you to your destination, both have their pros and cons, and both are (probably) a good choice for their owner.

I guess the point of this is, no matter what you own, if someone is looking for advice, take a minute and actually read what their needs are before opening your big fat mouth and sounding like an idiot. I actually recommended laptops to people at one point, it was part of my job, and I would recommend Macs, Dells, Lenovos, Acers and other types because it all depends on the needs of the person buying it. You’re nothing but an asshole if you try to convince someone to buy a $1,000 machine when a $250 will be more than sufficient.

This video has nothing to do with anything other than the fact I love this genre of music and Turbo Kid is an awesome movie: