Then my brain and my body had a conversation…

So I made the annual pilgrimage to HorrorFind this past weekend, and, as usual, fun was had.

This year, instead of running around the show spending money, I helped run the Timewarp table, ran around a few times and didn't spend nearly as much money — and still had a stellar time, because half of the fun at the convention is watching people.  Helping run a booth, in the vendor's room no less, let me watch people without having to run around the convention.  

It so happened that the vendor across from our table sold action figures, one of which being a life sized Zuni doll (made famous in the Trilogy of Terror movie).  This statue/thingy was straight bad ass.  It stood about 13" high, and was to scale of the doll in the movie.  And looked just like the little fucker, too.

Eric saw me checking it out and asked if I was going to buy it.  I said, "I doubt it.  I want it, but damn that thing is freaky looking."

And that was it.  I figured I'd buy it Sunday before I left if it wasn't sold by then.

Well, after a long day of pimping Timewarp products, and the showing for their newest, Dead Hunt (which Eric penned), Eric asked if it were cool if I hung out at the table until closing, so he could lug his stuff back to the room.  I was cool with that, as I had nothing else going on, and it looked like he bought a lot of goods.

Soon enough, the show closed for the night, I headed back to the room, where Eric and I started drinking Capt. and coke, and shooting the shit.  At one point, Eric said, "What do you think is up with those pillows on our beds?"  At face value, it seems like an odd question, but I didn't think so at the time.  Each bed had four pillows, two big ones resting against the headboard, and two smaller ones in front of the big ones.

"That is odd," I said.  "Decoration, I guess."  I've stayed in one star hotels and I've stayed in five star hotels.  For a  three star hotel (or whatever that particular Marriott is, it was a bit out of place).

Eric nodded in agreement.

Soon enough, we called it a night and laid down in our respective beds.  Just as I was about to sleep, Eric says, "Did you feel those pillows?"

"Which ones?"

"The big ones.  Their pretty soft."

I reached behind me and grabbed one of the pillows.  As my hand was between the headboard and the pillow, I felt a piece of plastic, which I pulled out and placed on the floor.  Keep in mind the lights were off at this point."

"That's pretty cool, dude," I said.  "But I think they are decorative.  They have a piece of plastic holding them up."

There was a beat of silence.

"Mine don't."  Eric said.

"No?"

"Nuh uh."

"What the fuck?  Mine did."  I reached over and hit the light so I could see what was behind my pillow.  Once the light was on, I leaned over to look at the floor AND SAW THE MOTHERFUCKING ZUNI FETISH DOLL STARING BACK UP AT ME.

Zuni Doll

I assure you, my fat ass wasted no time at all flinging itself to the other side of the bed.  And that bastard friend of mine just laughed.

I stayed there for a while.

"Aren't you going to look at it?"   Eric asked, still laughing.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm going to stay hear for a minute."

Then my brain and my body had a conversation.

"Go over and look at it, you pussy.  It's just a toy.  A mass marketed one, at that," my brain said.

"No it's not," my body replied.

"Yes it is.  Stop being a candy ass and check it out.  It's just a toy."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because," replied my body, "if I do look over, it won't be there."

"What?  Where the hell will it be?"

"It would have rolled under the bed.  Where I can't see it."

"You pussy."

Eventually, I did roll over and look at it.  It was still there, grinning at me.  And Eric was still laughing.

I picked it up and held it.  Checking it out.  It was pretty damn cool, even if it still scared the hell out of me.

Eric gave me the box in which it came in and, after checking to make sure its chain was still intact, I boxed it up and placed it on the top shelf in the closet.  Facing the wall.

I still heard Eric laughing as I doze off.

Considering one of, if not the, funniest things that happened this past weekend was at my expense, you know it was a good time.

Eric will get his.