You have been put on alert…

The roommate and I were talking via email today about her pinning down a date for when she moves out.

She wrote:

You want a date so you can mark them off on the wall like they do in prison?

I replied with:

no.

I want to plan it so when every day i come home, i’ll walk around with one less piece of clothing. so by your last day, i’ll just be wearing boxers.

when you see me just wearing boxers, you’ll know what I have planned for the next day.

you have been put on alert.

Which she said:

Hell, why not make the last item of clothing your nipple clamps. Scare me out of the house that night.

(how she knows I own those, I have no idea).

I replied:

I’ll just walk around like Jame Gumb.

“IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!”

She ended it with:

Oh God.

I’ll move now. I don’t want to see your ‘gina. I don’t care how pretty you pose.

For the record, I pose very pretty. 😡