Warning: in_array() expects parameter 2 to be array, string given in /home/content/A/l/i/AlienRedrum/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-mobile-pack/frontend/sections/show-rel.php on line 37

So Joy, my sister, calls me up at work today.

“Hey,” she said, “do you know what’s on your birth certificate? Is it junior, or something else?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well, why not?”

“Because I don’t.”

“You don’t know what’s on your birth certificate?”

“I haven’t looked at it in 20 years. How the fuck would I know what was on it?” I said, exasperated.

“Do you have a passport?”

“No. I don’t have a passport.” I said, sarcastically. I have been to three countries in as many years. Of course I had a passport.

She hung up on me.

This is a normal conversation for us.

Now there was reason she was asking. My sister is getting married, but she’s not getting married in the States. She’s going all out and getting married tropical style. Which rocks. Not only does she deserve it, but I don’t have to wear a suit. And I already know what I’m going to wear.

Light linen pants with a Hawaiian shirt. With flip-flops. Definitely flip-flops. I’m gonna be all Sonny Crockett and shit.

I can’t wait.

  • Any wedding that you can wear flip flops to gets my vote. Congratulations to your sister!

  • Oooh!!! Tell your sister I said congratulations!! She deserves to be happy. You, on the other hand… :shake:

  • aricblue

    You are pathetic with your Miami Vice infatuation!

    And I’d say tell your sister congratulations, but seriously–does anybody care about salutations from complete strangers?

  • I thought you and Stewie’s sister… oh, wait, that was his MOTHER. Gotcha. Complete stranger.

  • Light linen pants with a Hawaiian shirt. With flip-flops. Definitely flip-flops. I’m gonna be all Sonny Crockett and shit.

    The linen pants are quite Miami Vice. But I don’t think Sonny Crockett would have been caught dead in one of your Hawaiian shirts.

    I’m sorry, but it had to be said.

  • Thank you, snooze. I don’t give a rat’s ass about style when it comes to flip flops. they are damn comfy.

    Freak, true dat, and I will.

    Aric, :lol:. Good point.

    Lesley, good point. I’d be dressed like Stan Switek, with the suave of Sonny Crockett. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!

  • dorothy gale

    Perhaps you are unsure about your birth certificate because you were adopted…. Oh, sorry, I hope I wasn’t the one to break the news to you. Perhaps you should call Nancy. Anywho.

  • Thank. Fucking. God.

    :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: :yay: