It’s a bitch thinking of things to write on here, sometimes.

Last week I hit a random blog and it was funny as hell. Unfortunately, it hadn’t been updated in a month, so I dropped a comment.

Her reply, which was as equally witty as the blog, was…

I think about writing in this damn thing every day, but then I start thinking about cheese (or something equally important) and forget to jumpstart the computer and get ta writin’.

For me, that is spot on.

Everyday I think of something I should write in here, and every time I go to do it, either the words fail me, or I forget.

But sometimes, sometimes man, people make it easy. Like yesterday.

Yesterday I hit Charbucks to do a little coffee drinking and a little brainstorming for a blog. I had three themes rolling in my head…

-The first time I remember being told I love you – not as hokey as it sounds.
-My attraction to women that are unobtainable – as hokey as it sounds and not what you think.
-The day I found God – not a chance, fuckers. Oh, I believe in God. I have a close relationship with Him. I just hate the church. Passionately.

And none of these themes were working for me. So I left empty handed.

And that’s when I saw it. My blog entry.

I was heading to my truck when I noticed a lady waiting for a car to leave so she could park. That in itself seems okay, but there were things she was doing that were just flat out ignorant.

The first was she wasn’t even in the parking lane waiting for this car to leave. She was on the main strip (the spot she was waiting for was a front-row-Joe). Normally not much of an issue, but the people leaving were taking their time, thus causing people to line up Ms. Ignorance.

Now, normally this would no big deal. Hell, she’s waiting for a good spot. But when the jeep that was behind her pulled around her and parked TWO SPOTS DOWN from the car leaving, I just watched in amazement. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be surprised, but it gets worse.

The car behind the jeep went around this dumb bitch and parked in a spot FOUR SPOTS DOWN from the car leaving (who, by the way, was still sitting there, occupants outside of the vehicle, still dicking around).

I got in my truck, which was five spots down from the car leaving, and left. My spot was immediately taken by the car behind the car behind the jeep.

And that bitch was still waiting for the spot.

Seriously, how fucking lazy do you have to be to hold up traffic so you don’t have to walk about ten extra feet.

Good thing breathing is automatic or this bitch would have suffocated long ago.

Oh. Wait. Maybe that’s not a good thing. It would get rid of some of the riffraff.

  • OMG! This peeves me to NO END, also.

    People do it where I work all the time. Rather than park in a parking space in the lot (which could be all of 100 yards from the building they are going to), they put their vehicle up onto the dirt or grass surrounding the building! Either that or they park in faculty/staff parking lots KNOWING damned good & well that they are going to get a ticket if they get caught.

    And the funny thing is, our campus is considered what’s called a “walking campus”…you can get to ANYWHERE on campus by walking because it’s all connected together with pathways.

    Yet, on a daily basis the fuck-tards risk getting a fine just because they are lazy. WTF!?

    I can’t believe these people are allowed to run around free in the word without some kind of TAG hanging off their neck or something that tells you straight away that they don’t have the common sense that God gave a dog.

    Maybe we should try to pass a law that says they gotta wear a scarlet letter or something!?!?!?!

    OK. I’m done now.

  • At work, we have large rolling bins that we put paper and cardboard trash in (we recycle and get $$$ back for it). We keep a bin in our department and when it’s full, we call someone from downstairs and they come and get it.

    The other day, one of the salespeople borrowed the bin to clean up their department. They really cleaned, too. They filled that sucker up so the trash was about 2 feet higher than the top of the bin.

    You know what they when they were done filling it up?

    Brought it back to our department.

    It gets better. When I bitched they were too lazy to take it downstairs or make a call to have someone come and get it, you know what my boss did?

    Took it back to sales.

  • Assuming I understood correctly, your boss rocks!

  • That, he does!

  • “Good thing breathing is automatic or this bitch would have suffocated long ago.”

    Breathing is controlled by the medulla oblongata, which is located posteriorly at about the hairline.

    A strike to this area could disrupt autonomic nervous system function, such as breathing, heart beating, etc.

    I’m just sayin’.

  • What if someone has a receding hairline? Does the oblongata move with it?

    This is important. I’m gonna start popping people on their hairline when they piss me off. 🙂

  • Ace

    Wouldn’t “posteriorly” suggest it’s the back of the head?

    I don’t know enough about anatomy, but I’m thinking it’s the spot above your neck where your hair ends, as opposed to the front, where it recedes for those unfortunates with receding hairlines.

    But I could be wrong. Really wrong.

  • I don’t care where it is.

    I just need to know where to strike.