Last night I took a trip to Walmart. Something I generally loath because of its tendency to attract the white trash.

Since I was miserable, I decided to make Tom’s life miserable, too, but sending him text messages on how miserable I was.

I am at Walmart. It’s filled with lawyers and doctors. Sabbath was right!

Sabbath is some guy who insists that Walmart does not consist of mainly white trash. He is obviously delusional.

I fucking hate Walmart and the hillbillies it contains. Oh look, an obese lady in the electric cart.

Tom was ignoring me.

LOL. I am watching a guido in a tank top picking out a variety of Axe deodorants.

I wish I had gotten a picture of that. Tom still wasn’t replying.

I am in line. White trash in front of me keeps yelling at her child.

“Destiny.”

I shot that one off too early, because mom’s back was to me. Tom didn’t have a chance to reply before I sent:

OMG and the mom is wearing a shirt with the child’s picture on it.

It said “World’s Greatest Mom”. I can’t make that up.

Destiny is going to grow up and be the school slut. I can tell.

Sometimes you can.

My only regret is I don’t have pictures to go with the text, because there were some great ones to be had.

And stupid Tom didn’t get the texts until today, so I might has well been talking to myself. Wouldn’t be the first time.

  • OMG how can I charge my cell without my computer!? I lost the wall charger. 😡

    When I got them today they made me laugh though.. 😆

  • Ace

    I should take you to the Bloomsburg Fair some year. Fifth-largest state fair on the Eastern Seaboard. Which is to say, fifth-largest collection of rednecks and fat people in the world.

  • I thought I was behind Destiny’s mother. Oh, wait, that was a different day. And the girls name was Crystal.

  • Good, Tom. My job is complete.

    Ace, NO. Thanks for the offer, though! 😆

    Mitch, I knew I wasn’t the only one!

  • Snooze

    I’m so grateful that my mother showed her love for me by baking cookies, taking me to art galleries, and teaching me to read instead of wearing some ugly ass t-shirt with my pic while she dragged me to the mall. Your texts capture the scene perfectly.

  • Snooze, I actually told one of my friends that I was sorry I was by myself that day. There are some things that should be experienced with friends.